Alien sighting in Puerto Rico.

In my commitment to being a total freak of nature and trouble maker in life, I have crossed over to the other side. The lighter side of the universe, that is. The unknown has heard my beckoning call and answered in resplendent beauty. It's a positively awesome X Files type experience and I have my flesh and blood, no nonsense grandmother's eye witness to back it up. Believe folks! BELIEVE!

Start the creepy background music pleeeeeeeaaaasssssseeeee!

Stardate: Wednesday January 20, 2010, approximately 2pm.

Gram and I met Carlos and his wife Erica in Coamo at the Burger King across from the Post Office. That is exactly where I told them to meet me in my broken Spanish, and they completed the task without fail. I learned this navigational trick many years back. Get to town center. Find well known fast food restaurant. Call and say, "Estamos aqui a (insert fast food chain)" and you will be picked up as soon as you can swallow your last drop of milkshake. We exchanged courtesies and stopped at the grocery store for some last minute supplies for the evening's meal. I chatted with Carlos in the parking lot and caught up on the family business that I missed over the past year. Things were going well, but Carlos is preparing to move to Buffalo in February and then move his wife and children over during summer. Unlike me, this bastard loves the cold weather in Buffalo. Besides that, he feels his children will have better educational opportunities and he and his wife will be able to find better employment since they haven't been able to work much in the past year.

We started our afternoon at the tiny country house with a tour of the backyard courtesy of Erica. She showed us the various mango, banana, avocado and coffee plants growing all over the property. Then we sat and chatted about the children and the possible move. She had a little reservation because of the cold, but agreed that the opportunities would be better for them there. She also said she would miss the house and quiet environment that they enjoyed here on the island. Quiet indeed, they were parked on a very steep road that lead down a valley that was very beautiful and sparsely populated. I could see why she didn't want to leave. Besides, tranquility and beauty is the perfect setting for visitors from space. You never see aliens landing in old industrial centers in the movies; it is always the quiet country road with lots of open land where our universal brethren do their dirty work!

Carlos called us into the kitchen for a fantastic home cooked meal. He is one of my personal favorite cooks and he always makes a point to have us for a dinner when we are here. My mouth salivated over the delicious fair which included his personal style of rice and beans made with pumpkin flesh, potatoes and sauce, chuletas (seasoned pork chops), tostones, and fresh avocado from the property. Silence endured in the kitchen while the four of us delighted in the gastronomic treasures. I told him that I couldn't wait to have him cook in my kitchen! He makes miracle meals with no space and tiny appliances, he will go crazy when he sees my big modern kitchen with all the latest in cooking technology!

After the meal, the children arrived at home and they scooped my full attention up for at least an hour of basketball, simon says, and photo play with my camera. As the evening fell, Carlos and Erica began to be-spell upon us stories of the unknown that they have witnessed over the past year while living in the valley. I had heard the UFO story before where the whole family had been over and were watching for 20 minutes while the craft hovered over the valley. Many photos were taken with both digital and regular film cameras, but none turned out. Everyone could describe the shape, colors, and even the windows on the craft individually. Carlos even joked that one of the aliens was flipping him off through the window. I kept saying, "Where are the aliens Carlos?" with a snide sense of sarcasm. He kept saying, "Maybe later at night when you aren't here. They usually come later and it isn't every night."

Darkness comes quickly in the tropics due to the angle of the Earth to the Sun and when the latter sets, it only takes 15 minutes or so to experience the lack of light. I kept joking, but was beginning to feel an air of excitement amongst my companions. By this time Gladys and Rosie had shown up with a few others for dinner and a chat. All of them had been present for the UFO experience at least once.

I made my way out to the road to get a good view of the valley and the night sky. Carlos joined. He was pointing to the spots in the sky that they last saw something unusual when out of nowhere there was a large flash of light in the opposite direction. "Look!!!" he yelled to the rest of the gang. About 15 seconds later it did it again but in a different spot in the sky. It repeated this brilliant light explosion maybe 4 more times then disappeared completely. Gone. Done. Nada. I'm no astronomer, but I have a slight fascination with the heavens and have spent many a night under a blanket of stars. I've seen all manner of planes, satellites, shooting stars, pulsars, comets and the like and I have never seen anything like this. Everyone else agreed that it was nothing they had ever seen.

Suddenly Carlos burst out, "LOOOOOKKKK!!!!! Over there!!!" Almost in a full court panic, we all shifted to see the brilliant disc on the horizon. It was stationary and spinning very quickly with a brilliant yellow light like none I've ever seen before. Carlos got his binoculars so we could take a closer look. Again, this was unlike anything I have ever seen, but it was different from the flashing light we had seen a few minutes before. I couldn't make out windows or anything that resembled the classic UFO appearance, but it was most certainly something very powerful and spinning very quickly. It was mostly in the same spot in the sky, but would occasionally move very erratically. Then, it shot up into space and disappeared. Amazing. I was breathless. If this is the work of military or something human, we are in for a technological treat.

I hope that you are all prepared for the amazing, the unknown, and the surreal forces of the universe!

Have a great night.

Jeremy

I almost died...

Rain forest. Rain. Lot's of rain. My grandmother had brought fantastic weather with her, and the weather for the past few weeks in general has been amazing. Now it was pissing and flooding like crazy for almost three days straight. We needed a break. We headed west and south after I asked Gram to make a last minute decision at the split in the highway and the rain seemed to get worse as we traversed the central mountain passes. Cars were pulled over everywhere, drivers unable to face the incessant pounding of the torrential down pour and limited views.

We pressed on to Coamo, where some dear old friends of mine live. By chance, Mami (grandma Ortiz Reyes) and Gladys were home when we stopped. Gladys was hesitant to answer the door because she didn't recognize me with my shaved head. Once she realized it was me, she quickly grabbed me for a warm embrace and lead us inside to see Mami. We were seated at the kitchen table and served the best coffee on the planet! This is no exaggeration. Everyone who has ever had Mami's coffee will tell you it is the best ever... so rich and smooth and milky sweet. I never tell her how much milk or sugar because it is just right every time. They were pleased with my increased knowledge of Spanish and happy that they could converse with me a bit. They reminded me of my first lesson right in the back yard with Carlos, Jose, Esteban and the rest of the guys teaching my friends and I all the curse words we could handle.

It felt great to see them and they loved having my grandmother over for coffee as well. At the insistence of Mami, we will be returning sometime this week for a full meal and party with the family. I can't wait!

We stopped at the Banos de Coamo, which are very famous here on the island and known as the "fountain of youth" that Ponce De Leon was mistakenly searching for in Florida. Had he known they were here all along, he might still be around to tell us what the past 4 1/2 centuries were like! All kidding aside, the baths are a natural sulfur hot spring most likely coming from a deep well volcano. They are delightfully temped between 105 and 115 degrees and I don't care if it is a wives tale or not, I always feel better when I get out. Gram dipped her injured heel in the water and we joked about it being younger than the other as a result.

Ponce was our next destination. We skipped the city plaza on account of me getting lost and drove down to the port area of "La Guancha" instead. This port is one of the busiest in the Caribbean according to an ex girlfriend who works in the shipping industry. There is a fairly large small boat marina with a great board walk and pier where you can hand feed pelicans, seagulls and huge Tarpon fish swimming in the shallows. We snapped some pictures and took in the sights.

We ended up in La Parguera for the night and Gram was adventurous enough to go for a boat trip to the bio luminescent bay even though she swore up and down that she always gets sick on boats! It was a perfect night, with some overcast keeping things very dark. The bio bay lit up for us quite nicely and she made the whole trip without a single problem. We stayed right in town at a beautiful hotel called La Villa Parguera. I put my bad Spanish and excellent flirting skills to work and got us $20 off and free breakfast in the morning by batting eyelashes with the cute girl working the counter.

I must admit that my grandmother's sleep schedule is quite different than mine. She gets up no later that 5am every day and sometimes she is up at 2 or 3 in the morning waiting for the sun to rise. By the time I get up at 7 or 8, she has already had a shower and coffee. I sometimes wonder who the old one is here.... ha ha.

We got packed up and blitzed around the south west corner of the island. Gram loved the heat and was able to do a little hiking with me. On our way up to the Cabo Rojo lighthouse I caught a pretty big hermit crab and let him crawl around in my hands for some photo ops. It was a perfect day for sight seeing on the big craggy cliffs of Cabo Rojo. The ocean seemed to stretch out for eternity in every direction and we were having some great conversation about our crazy family! It was such a treat to drive with her through the panoramic views of the west coast talking and stopping to take pictures. Gram even got her first taste of real wild coconut at one of the roadside stands in Playa Jobos.

We ended up at the El Torre Guest House in Jobos and the proprietor instantly recognized me from my previous stay with Sam and Alwin a few weeks back. This was almost my final resting place on this earth. After packing in, the rain began pouring down outside so we decided to just hang in the room for a while and relax before getting some dinner. I sat in the lounge chair in the corner and proceeded to plug in my laptop. I sat down and put said laptop into my lap. As my fingers slid over the keys I felt a strange buzzing sensation. I thought it was the hard drive booting up and continued to work on the computer without paying much heed. Then I started feeling funny and realized that my laptop was conducting electricity into my body. I immediately grabbed the back of the laptop to set it down and was treated to the shock of a lifetime. ZZZZZAAAAAPPPP!!!!! Holy Shit! My grandmother looked at me and said, "What's happened to you? I saw you sitting there and I could tell something wasn't right." Macbook Pro Aluminum almost had its first victim! It was an hour or so before I felt even partly normal and I could feel a tingling in my hands for the next few hours. I am now officially "Electro Man!!!" I believe it was due to faulty wiring in the guest house, but I'm still not sure. I'm still here, Thank God, and ready to rock n roll!

When we left the guest house this morning, we stopped in Isabela so Gram could attend church. I didn't have any attire that was church worthy so I opted to stay outside and read while she participated in the Mass. I could hear the beautiful music and the whole church singing as the sun slowly rose from behind the massive structure. It was a heavenly experience from outside, and she confirmed that inside the church was alive and well with the spirit of God. She kept saying, "I had no idea what they were saying, but I felt so good and the people were singing all around so beautifully! I wish our congregation would sing like that."

It has been a wonderful experience having my grandmother with me. I am learning a lot about her and her travels all around the planet. Who do you think I got this wanderlust from in the first place..... If you have a grandparent that is alive and well, give them a kiss tonight and sit down and listen to some of their stories! Sometimes you will find that they are more adventurous than you will ever be.

Much love and Peace. Jeremy

Luquillo and beyond!

The last few days have been fabulous. Aunt Rosie and I spent one whole day at the world famous Playa Luquillo, which is very close to my casita in the rain forest. I was unable to swim much because of a torn shoulder muscle, but enjoyed the salty ocean just the same! The water was perfect in temperature and tranquility, making it very hard to get out. When I did get out, I would take a leisurely stroll over to my aunt who was under a huge umbrella on the beach. We chatted a bit in between her reading and napping sessions and I ran over to the kiosks to get an occasional drink and some local fare for us to enjoy. The day passed in relaxing fashion, and we spent the rest of the night at the house listening to the rainforest and Johnny Cash. In between singing and sipping we talked about our family history. I learned quite a bit about my grandparents and my ancestry on my father's side.

Lucky for me, my aunt is a very spontaneous person, and also a fantastic passenger. Her navigation skills have some room for improvement, but I believe she only gives up at reading the map because getting lost is more fun! Getting lost, and finding our way was the theme for the second day as we hustled down the chaotic highways on the island in search of our first stop... Coamo.
The ride down was filled with stupendous views of the central mountains and as we climbed higher and higher we were showered with some excellent rain fall and cooler temperatures. It looked sometimes as if we were going to drive into the ominous eye of a hurricane, then two minutes later we would be back into the sun. The weather persisted like this for most of the morning.

When we reached Coamo, we stopped at a few friends' homes, but they were not around. The homes in Coamo are mostly stunning in decor. Beautiful iron clad gates are kept fresh with bright Caribbean cremes and mauves and all of the houses seemed to have a very fresh coat of paint on them. The rains are very rare on this side of the island and you can see that in the less weatherized looks of the homes. In the rainforest it is quite the opposite and constant maintenance is necessary to keep anything looking even half way decent. After a delicious breakfast at a local bakery with some killer coffee, we ventured on to Ponce.

Ponce was once the capital city of Puerto Rico and holds many great treasures. We were looking for the main plaza that hosts the most beautiful fountains and statues on the island. It is a very romantic place filled with antiquity and leisure. There are children playing and singing, parents enjoying ice cream or a game of dominoes. The old fire house was an extra special treat with its original decor and lively history. Aunt Rosie was able to grab a few choice souveniers while I placed a bet on a mechanical horse machine that the locals were playing on..... come on number six... come on.... oh.... 20 wins it! Our eyes filled to the brim with optical candy, we headed west for the Guanica dry forest and La Parguera.

The dry forest was filled with beautiful, healthy looking cacti and flowing grasses atop of craggy rock structures and old coral formations. The ferrous red rock held beautiful landscapes and vistas flowing out to the ocean. There were many amazing beaches, coves and canyons that often had only a handful if any people at all. This was a wild and open place. A place you could fantasize about pirates getting lost and never returning. The whole south east coast is like that. Tiny, winding roads that peal through sometimes smokey grasslands and pasture. Born of the warm Caribbean winds and resting on the protected mangrove shores is the amazing fishing village La Parguera. This place was once an incredible little fishing village turned local tourist haven. If you came here on a weekend a few years ago you would be lucky to find a place to park your car, let alone spend the night. The small main drag of the town was a bustling bazaar of happy go lucky Puerto Rican families enjoying fresh seafood, hand made gifts, and every form of entertainment available! You could imagine my shock and amazement when we pulled in on a Saturday afternoon and found the place virtually a ghost town. Most of the fine establishments for sale or just closed completely... we walked around pile ons and plywood fences for numerous unfinished construction projects that didn't look like they were going to be completed any time soon. The town was practically laid to rest.

Even the famous bio bay tour operators were fighting for the few of us who had shown up for the afternoon. I conversed with one of the last remaining vendors who was selling fresh seafood kabobs that were to die for. He said simply, "the economy" and raised his arms in helplessness. He was content squeeking out a living from fishing and grilling in the same spot he had once made money hand over fist. He was very happy and welcoming to us and I could see why he could be surviving through the storm with his great attitude. It saddened me to see this town this way, so we spent money where we could and were thanked over and over for coming, but La Parguera couldn't hold us for the night. We were heading north and west to the surfing capital of Puerto Rico, Rincon!

We cruised the beautiful west side of the island and dropped into the road to Rincon just before sunset. Rincon is "paraiso gringo" or gringo paradise. It is the home to some of the best surfing in the planet and you get the sense of surf town the minute you get close. There are surf shops, surf inns, surf bars, surf lessons, and blonde haired, blue eyed anglos everywhere. "Dude" is an official spanish word here and this area often reminds me of the North Shore of Oahu in Hawaii. It isn't quite as known, but the waves are here my friends and they are fairly consistent, and they are often huge. This wasn't the case, even though winter swell season is upon us, but even so there were a number of surfers in the water getting a bath and an ocassional 2 footer! We spent the night at a really nice hotel right on the ocean. We sat in beach chairs til midnight letting the water lap at our feet talking about love and relationships. This was bonding time indeed! Many stories were shared over pina coladas and a live salsa act playing at the hotel beach bar.

The next morning we woke up and explored more of this gringo paradise, its beaches and breaks, lighthouses and law enforcement. Yes, I said it... law enforcement. No I didn't get deported, but we did talk to an interesting Border Patrol officer walking the beach in full garb. He said they are always patrolling for Dominicans and Haitians that try to make the 100 mile plus crossing to Puerto Rico. He was a good sport and only a month into his tour on the island. I gave him some great info on the area and he seemed to be pumped about learning to surf. You know you are in a great place when the law enforcement has surfing on the brain!

Getting lost in Jobos, then finding the world famous surfing beach filled the middle of our day. We enjoyed breathtaking views of the ocean and some surprisingly better swells from the North Atlantic. There was a small troupe of surfers enjoying the breaks and plenty of locals on the scene just lounging on the beach. We sipped cold coconut milk from a local vendor and had some local food then started the slow winding trek back to our home in the rain forest.

Aunt Rosie's 55th birthday is today and we celebrated in fine fashion at the orphanage with all of the children singing in spanish and showing us a great time! I led the boys in animal calls and we erupted the jungle into laughter and calls of all kinds. It was like a Discovery Channel special gone haywire. After songs were sung and cake was served, we roped two of the boys into playing Pirate Farkle with us. They picked it up right away and we played for a few hours. As I finish typing this, I'm sitting on the balcony of the house, 2000 feet above sea level. I have the sounds of the forest and my aunt snoring to keep me company of the most peaceful kind. I bid you all sweet dreams tonight!